TylerGirly

a very short story

2009-07-13T01:14:00.000-04:00

Happy Anniversary

Though he'd never especially enjoyed visits to the shopping mall, today was different; Robert had a mission. Today, for an hour or two, he could withstand the too-many teenagers lounging next to filthy fountains, the aggressive mongrel scent of too many spritzes of too many colognes. If he thought he couldn't stomach it, now he'd have to try. After all, his dear wife was not the patient kind, no longer willing to allow him the time he needed to plan or to scheme or to dot the 'i' in her name on a birthday card. Always preempting, always assuming, always waiting in the wings, Bob's better half was weary of vain expectation and dashed hopes. He allowed the mental picture to sharpen. This very moment, she was no doubt sitting at home, toes tapping and wrist twitching, surmising her surprise- a snug red sweater, the very one she'd requested weeks ago.

Robert bobbed in and out of the thick crowds haunting cute boutiques and department stores, feeling quite robbed of precious time with two children he'd not seen since breakfast. Straight to dinner from work- a comfortable daily routine, on those normal days when he wasn't compelled to purchase arbitrary items in celebration of a wedding anniversary. Still, proud of himself for remembering the gift in the nick of time (after many explicit reminders), he soldiered on in search of the golden ticket which would gain him admittance to the dinner table and, hopefully, into his wife's good graces later that night. But 'later,' he thought, was getting sooner by the second, so “why can't I remember the stupid store?” In response to his frenzied frustration, a young cashier turned with a slight grimace, not because Robert was no longer welcome, but because she could not wait to clock out and escape the piercing headache of too many shoppers on a too-hot day.

Hoping he could cheat, perhaps, and find a knockoff of the desired designer's design, Bob even toyed with the idea of presenting a flashier item in its place. A ring, maybe, or a new painting could do the trick. He paused and sighed. The tragedy of it all was that his lover cared not about material goods; she wanted nothing more than an occasional, tangible sign of his undying affection. Since her husband did not know to kiss her everyday, and was not fond of chores, their bank account took the hit. She had learned to deal with a lack of creativity on his part, a tendency to stall and buy time. They had settled comfortably on this, a tacit agreement to give and take just as much as they could handle.

Walking past the blinking neon arcade, Robert braced himself for the onslaught of annoying noises and shrieks from the children inside before a sudden bang, an aural assault both distant and deafening, interrupted his dread and caused him to jump slightly and take in a terrified breath. Boy, have these games gotten creepily realistic, he thought, disapproving with a shake of his bowed head. A woman's guttural cry broke the silence which had frozen all shoppers in their tracks several seconds ago. Looking up just in time to avoid being tackled by the crowd, Bob turned and ran, keeping pace as a helpless member of the startled and stirred herd.

Because he was headed toward the exit, Robert was spared a glimpse of the thing, of the unfortunate reason for his hasty, empty-handed departure. If he had looked back, past the throngs of gasping sprinters, he may have been curious enough to walk toward it. He'd have almost certainly tip-toed toward it- an abandoned corner near the restrooms, now doubly-abandoned and quieter than a late Sunday night. At the moment, no brave or foolish soul was there to see the grisly scene, a site of shocked terror and arrested exchanges of quips and merchandise. It's a good thing he did not look back, a good thing he did not allow his morbid curiosity to draw him closer. Not much remained, save the casings of the slain- an ugly sight, to be sure, for any eyewitness. Lucky Robert, thank heavens, was not among the many who saw what clamoring reporters reported that night- two bodies too limp to stand (one very young, one a mother). The details were not spared- a pool of bright red, a small, pink sleeve, a tiny tennis shoe, a sticky rubber toy. A mess of brown curls, a smudge of lipstick, and a bullet between the eyes.

His aversion to shopping now justified, Bob sank into his car with no feeling but the slightest twinge of regret. Leaving without a gift, nothing to show for his trip besides a sweaty brow. A waste of time, he thought, a waste and a terrible bother. Before turning the key, he blinked and wiped away the torrent of tears on its way to his collar, wet already from his dramatic dash to freedom. Home is two minutes away, and they can't see him wild and upset like this. They can't, not like this, when he was too eager to escape with the crowd, too weak to guide stragglers toward the door. Too shaken to investigate, too startled by a too-loud noise. He felt sick and ashamed as he watched security guards in their feeble attempts to detain fleeing vehicles from the expansive parking lot. It was already dark, already late; hundreds of headlights only added to the macabre chaos. Once again, he pushed through, like a bat out of hell, away from danger toward the safety of his home.

Early in the morning, Robert awoke from fitful sleep to the smell of singed butter and the sound of his daughter laughing. To the kitchen he carried a half-remembered nightmare in his throbbing head, heading toward a frantic wife with a somber kiss. “Sleep okay?” she asked, to which he shrugged and smiled. Nothing should ruin this special day- not a foul mood or a missing present or a toy on the floor. “Pick that up, please,” he grumbled to his beaming little boy. “It's not mine!” but he obeyed anyway, dutifully straightening up the cluttered space. Robert kissed his wife's temple, her cheek, her shoulder. Suddenly thankful to have her next to him, safe in the crook of his arm, Bob whispered two words in her ear. She smiled, with genuine surprise and a gleam of hope visible even to her husband on this day. Breakfast at the table was a very rare occurrence; she feared that was what tipped him off. If Bob had had his wits about him last night, his wife would have awoken to a bouquet of flowers and a playful hint regarding her gift. Alas, he was not so clever.

After a bite or two of dry eggs and soggy toast, Rob dragged himself to the double doors, stopping to sit and put on his shoes. A voice drowned out the clanking dishes: “Go say goodbye to Daddy before you put on your sneakers!” A bundle of baby girl rushed through the foyer with outstretched arms. Robert, scooping up and kissing his daughter, tickled her neck until his wife walked up to the mirror to fix a mountain of tumbling curls. “Honey, go put away your jacket. It's going to be hot today, and we're not leaving until later.” Robert watched as his child removed a heavy coat to reveal a hot pink shirt while bouncing up the dangerously steep stairs. “Where are you guys headed?” he asked, scratching his head and smiling up toward the occupied mirror. “I promised her a trip to the toy store, just the two of us, once we drop him off at soccer,” she half-whispered, gesturing toward their still-eating son. Robert nodded and realized he had just enough time to finally pick up the coveted red sweater; hopefully, he would recall the one she wanted. “Can I bring ducky with us?” yelled their baby from the bathroom, her plea falling on distracted ears. Mom fiddled with her hair while Dad crossed his arms. He sure did hate shopping, but he'd have to make a quick trip to the mall after work- just this once, for his wife on a special occasion.

halfway through our travels...

2009-05-24T15:32:00.005-04:00

yesterday, my good friend and i became the first two people ever to evoke the words of nick andopolis while paddle-boating alongside the french alps. "what is this, and what is this?" he was confused about the chemical makeup of salisbury steak, while we were wide-eyed in the face of whatever this was looking back at us. what's there now has been for a long time, longer than i've been alive to imagine it, longer than it ever took for my mother to piece together a jigsaw puzzle of jagged rock and blue waters. but this wasn't what i'd dreamed of, because this wasn't what had ever seemed conceivable. mere days ago, we had been lying in the charlottesville grass, full of wine and indifferent to passers-by, feeling as if we'd only just begun to catch a glimpse of things to come. (the peacock which would soon be a swan, the sturdy tree with high hopes of glory- a crown of white, white snow.) now we were here, without a life vest, without a watch, giggling about our stolen minutes. maybe it was finally okay to sit back and soak it all in, to believe the myth of peace and tiny dogs. i am simple, young, weak, and tired, but i am still more powerful than these mountains, which can not answer for me like i can for myself. in this welcome moment, i recall that dearest caveh once went on a trip of his own and asked the prince what to do with our finite time. you may find that lennon and mccartney knew back in 1970, but my own response echoed only yesterday through the town of annecy.

"but it takes real guts to see the hopelessness"

2009-01-30T13:02:00.015-05:00

it's that time again, i reckon. considering that the Academy has all but lost its credibility by now, i hereby submit the following top ten list for your consideration (as a slightly more succinct alternative to that bogus whatsit ceremony they insist on holding each year).
without further ado, here are tylergirly's 10 favorite movies of 2008 (10 being the arbitrary number that i don't remember ever agreeing to. like, why must favorite movies come in denominations of ten, or even be grouped by calendar year, for that matter? okay, that's enough ado. let's jump right in, shall we?):

oh, and none but numbers 1-6 are in any particular order. sorry if that creates logistical problems for some of you. i'm starting now, i promise:

...ahem.

10. THE WRESTLER
i hesitate to put this title very high on my list, though i concede that it definitely belongs in the bunch. this is the sort of movie i typically don't enjoy. washed-up professional something-or-other works out his inner demons and reflects on past mistakes to finally find that maybe he's still lovable after all. but this incarnation is a bit different, owing almost entirely to mickey rourke's fearless performance. if i'm honest with myself, the whole thing wouldn't have been half as satisfying had rourke not mercifully snatched the role from nick cage. marisa tomei is always a privilege to watch, and i was thankful for her part in what turned out to be a significantly above-average bittersweet personal redemption tale.

9. GONZO: THE LIFE AND WORK OF DR. HUNTER S. THOMPSON
this documentary was a nice little surprise for me. i hadn't been aware of its impending arrival, so it was that much more thrilling to witness. if there's anyone i'd like to request a posthumous visit from at this point in my life, it's hunter thompson. ideally, he would conduct his half of the conversation from behind a protective screen while i sat safely on the other side. so that theater setup was totally perfect.

8. WALL-E
as i've stated before, my evaluation of most films is based on my decidedly nonintellectual visceral experience during the actual act of viewing. in the case of WALL-E, i must consider the fact that i wept during roughly 90% of the running time.

7. MILK
despite a few structural flaws, this was an endearing and beautiful collection of snapshots. each of the performances want for nothing, and a few of the images will be imprinted on my mind for some time to come.

6. THE DARK KNIGHT
maybe you've heard of it?

5. LET THE RIGHT ONE IN
just for this adorable gem of a vampire horror flick, i'm willing to push aside my crippling hatred of house cats (i think i hear one whining outside even as i write- i can has hatchet?).

4. MAN ON WIRE
it made me laugh (a lot) and cry (a lot) and wish i had (a lot) more conviction. this is a must-see and something i hope i never forget. it's levity and gravity, folly and wisdom, faith and disillusionment, all wound into a tightrope.

3. VICKY CRISTINA BARCELONA
i've blogged on this before, so i won't repeat myself. but i think i shall never grow weary of this insane little film.

2. SYNECDOCHE, NEW YORK
this masterpiece is really a compilation of countless thrilling little nuggets (masterpieces?) which just so happen to add up in quite a satisfactory way. like, deeply affecting and tremendously insightful and challenging, but i'd watch it again and again just to see maria (jennifer jason leigh) trip over her own feet before quickly regaining her balance.

1. REVOLUTIONARY ROAD
i've thoroughly accepted that it's my favorite of 2008. i'd like to urge you all to see it NOW while it's still in theaters, if you can, but i can't really offer a strong case for my endorsement. most of the coherent things i'd like to write about this film have been tragically lost in a jumble of raw joy and agony which is now and forever lodged in the pit of my stomach, if that makes any sense. so for now, i'll just say, "leo + kate forevs LOL. best. movie. EVAR."

so there you have it. i do realize that there are a couple of movies i still really want to see that may possibly have cracked the top ten if given the chance (i suspect that SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE is not among them, though.).
finally, i'd like to add IRON MAN, DOUBT, PINEAPPLE EXPRESS, ZACK AND MIRI MAKE A PORNO, CLOVERFIELD, and IN BRUGES to the honorable mention category and award dishonorable mention to GRAN TORINO, SCHMACHEL SCHMETTING SCHMARRIED, and SEVEN POUNDS for failure to meet my already low-ish expectations.

sigh

2008-11-15T01:26:00.003-05:00

i really miss Vassar sometimes...

Friday, November 14th:

Marx in SoHo, Today at 8:00pm

"Marx in SoHo," a play by Howard Zinn, produced by Catalyst and Unbound. Come see Karl Marx rant and rave over contemporary society. Performed by an ensemble cast using multimedia to bring to life Karl Marx, the person. the icon, the communist, the original hipster. In Main Building, 5th floor lounge.

Philaletheis Play, Today at 8:00pm

Susan Stein Shiva Theater

The Philaletheis Society presents "Popcorn," a sensational play that examines our mediatized world with a satirical eye.

Gayme Night, Today at 10:00pm

Gayme Night.

Sick of Lady Marmalade? Come play games at the LGBTQ Center instead! LGBTQ Center (College Center, room 235).

Moulin Rouge, Today at 10:00pm

College Center, Villard Room

Moulin Rouge, Main's reincarnation of last year's smash all-campus party is back again! Join us in the College center for a night of merriment celebrating love, the bohemian lifestyle, and Paris nightlife circa 1899. Music throughout the night by DJ Respire, gogo dancers to keep the party alive, a movie screening of the 2001 film Moulin Rouge in the MPR, and all sorts of other goodies you'll just have to come see to believe!

My God is Good.

2008-11-05T23:47:00.001-05:00

"...only unfulfilled love can be romantic..."

2008-09-10T22:47:00.008-04:00

if i've likened the experience of viewing woody allen's romantic comedies to taking a walk in the park, Vicky Cristina Barcelona is a blissful stroll through the winding streets of Catalonia. the prolific director's latest offering is refreshingly apt- a decidedly mature film that, true to form, is at once light and tragic. it's more than what i would have expected from the auteur after years of creative atrophy (ok, Match Point, while certainly laudable, is little more than a fleshed-out subplot from an earlier and much more complete opus). i guess, for the time being, he's back; i say we welcome him with open arms.

(i suppose this is the part where i warn of !SPOILERS AHEAD!, though i recognize that this will reduce my already-negligible readership drastically. oh well, continue at your own peril.)

anyway, i usually refrain from writing conventional movie reviews, as they are now more ubiquitous than ever (everyone's a critic, blah blah), so i'll call this a personal recommendation instead. also, my approach to cinema is an irrational one, as i rely largely on my visceral reactions to guide my opinions about each work. in this case, i liked the movie because it fed me (like carrie bradshaw skipping her dinner and buying Vogue instead), it taught me a practical truth, and it overloaded my senses in a most pleasant way. never happier am i than when provoked visually, mentally, and emotionally all at the same time.

in Vicky Cristina Barcelona, deceptively ham-fisted dialogue belies the film's deeper message, which was just outside of my reach up until the final frame. perhaps distracted by the unorthodox narration, bright colors, and beautiful soundtrack, i lost myself completely in the diegesis and did not come up for air until that climactic fade-out. ultimately, this was a story about romantic love and the human folly that prevents it from ever reaching its true destination.
it's apparent that the characters' relationships are basically a series of tragic misfires. vicky (rebecca hall) is ready to marry a boorish WASP, presumably because it never occurred to her that she might one day find a more exciting prospect (yes, she's dull as well, but we get the feeling that years of tedious company has stripped her of any imagination she might have once possessed). best friend cristina (scarlett johansson), who aspires to a sort of sophomoric bohemian lifestyle that would enable and encourage her flights of fancy, finds herself in over her head when she just can't handle a polyamorous relationship with juan antonio (javier bardem) and maria elena (penelope cruz).
maria elena, for her part, would have ended up with juan antonio's father in an ideal world, the two being the only genuinely gifted artists in the bunch (her unique style having been co-opted and his pearls-before-swine poetry left unpublished and kept hidden from the world). juan antonio is a charming but parasitic hedonist who would benefit from years of solitary reflection (which his restlessness would prevent), but vicky is arguably most suited for him, though circumstances keep them apart, of course.

miscommunication, bad timing, thwarted attempts at romance- such is the nature of this film. though tragic and disheartening in ways, it remains a joy to watch. even if it's true that after thousands of years of civilization, human beings have never learned how to love (as juan antonio's father suggests), at least we can learn how to appreciate the irony.

butterflies are free- wordle

2008-06-24T15:23:00.002-04:00

"look at this tangle of thorns."

2008-05-11T16:54:00.026-04:00

ladies and gentlemen of the jury, i must begin by confessing that though i often fancy myself a writer (of sorts), i am not a frequent reader of fiction, and i am certainly not a fan. even as a young person, i always considered fiction-writing a waste of time, vain indulgences of authors' imaginations (as unreasonable as this notion may be). i recognize that my aversion to novels is quite ironic in light of the fact that i almost indiscriminately consume films from most genres. if i can appreciate an excellent screenplay, why should i continue to avoid the fiction aisles? having said all of this, i must add that there are many notable exceptions to this rule, and if you care to know about the single most important one, please read on.

actually, i don't really care to describe my favorite novel or even to expound on the merits thereof. i will resist the urge to suggest that you all read it, for i fear that my words will be as pearls before swine (the swine, in this case, being those of you who will make a note of it and completely forget a couple of hours later). plus, this book is old and infamous enough that it wouldn't be a novel recommendation on my part (how's that for wordplay, Mr. Nabok-...oooh, too soon for the reveal!). ok, so if i don't want to add a title to your summer reading list, and i don't want to give you notes on the plot or argue for a heretofore undiscovered subtext (which i certainly couldn't do, anyhow), what am i here for? well, my goal this evening is to suggest to you, gentle members of the jury, why the precious and delicate Lolita could never survive the onerous journey to the screen. here is my appeal.

i am indeed aware that Nabokov's novel was adapted not once, but twice, to film. the author himself wrote much of 1962's screenplay (along with Kubrick), and James Mason did all he could to bring our Humbert Humbert to life. the brilliant Jeremy Irons proved just as game in Adrian Lyne's 1997 version, which nevertheless falls more flat than its predecessor. so when i say that Lolita could never survive the trip from page to screen, i do mean that it has not and will not ever reach the screen intact, no matter who handles the script or how hard they work on it. so, my answer to the movie poster's famous question is that they never did make a movie of Lolita, and they really never should have tried.

i have known and loved this book for no more than five years, and although i have read it in its entirety at least thrice now, i feel that i have only just begun to scratch its surface. this is a work of art which can be viewed and appreciated from untold angles; one day the sunlight hits it just so but the next day the wind is coming in from the south, and the same phrase is blown off its feet and on its side. this is the only book that does not sit on my shelf but dwells there, making a modest home between her much lesser neighbors, with whom stimulating interaction is rendered impossible by virtue of their inertia.

but then, i promised i would not sing its praises or aim to tempt the uninformed. those of you who have already known her will (hopefully) agree with my assessment of the text. this is an elusive puzzle, a challenge, a provocateur. the subject matter alone was enough to make the public cringe in 1955, and it is no easier to digest several decades later. and even those readers with strong enough stomachs to take the plunge occasionally find themselves shuddering upon the turn of the page. after all, our protagonist is a liar, a criminal, a confined madman. we are left at the mercy of this detestable narcissist, and his account is all we are given. the thoughts, actions, and words of each character are filtered through Humbert's grotesque mind, so we know that our belief is best left un-suspended for the duration of this "curious tale."

when our dear Humbert refers to Charlotte Haze, "she of the...massive thigh," as his "large-as-life wife," we know that it is only in comparison to Lo, her "nymphet" daughter, and the "seaside of her schoolgirl thighs," the "blond down of her brown limbs." we can never know what Mrs. Haze looks like in any objective sense, because she is older than fourteen, and thus is an unappealing, crude, and nagging blob. furthermore, ever the unreliable narrator, Humbert describes himself proudly at one point as possessing a "clean-cut jaw, muscular hand, deep sonorous voice, broad shoulder," only to state a few pages later, "I am lanky, big-boned, wooly-chested Humbert Humbert, with thick black eyebrows and a queer accent, and a cesspool of rotting monsters behind his slow boyish smile." when his own self-perception is forever subject to the childish whims of whatever girl he lays his gaze on, how are we to trust his fickle moods?

Humbert's lengthy and schizophrenic written appeal to the court is not only rife with dubious claims and descriptions but also littered with the crumbs of his fragmented and uncensored compulsions. he leaves almost nothing out and is quite fanciful in his telling. his "fancy prose style" is seductive enough that we quickly begin to welcome the descent into his twisted psyche. his sharp wit and impish nature deceive us into forgetting his moral depravity, if just for a few moments at a time. he conjures images in our minds, and stirs emotions, that we have not prepared for. and how would we have known to? each one of us must quietly work out our unique relationship to his story. how do we feel when Humbert describes the first time he laid eyes on Lo ("...my knees were like reflections of knees in rippling water, and my lips were like sand...")? i was entranced by the first reading, and then repulsed upon the next; Humbert himself seems to understand both reactions equally.

there are countless reasons why there can never truly be a faithful adaptation of Lolita. the author's incredible use of english (his second language), which begs a second, third, and fortieth reading of the book, is high on the list.
but in the end, because each of its characters is a delusion and each line is poetry, we must never substitute a film, gorgeous as it may be, for this timeless piece of literature. when a frustrated Humbert exclaims, "I only have words to play with!," we must concede.

my 2 cents on 4/20/08

2008-04-20T04:34:00.000-04:00

let's reconsider the facts,
http://blogs.salon.com/0002762/stories/2003/12/22/whyIsMarijuanaIllegal.html

view a short timeline,
http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/pages/frontline/shows/dope/etc/cron.html

start a dialogue,
http://www.nojailforpot.com/

and
let's challenge our paradigms and ill-advised doctrines,
breed understanding, peace, freedom, and community.

and let's please get my people out of jail.

be SAFE, everyone.

L

whoa

2008-02-24T23:00:00.002-05:00

guess who's never making a list of Oscar predictions ever again?

ME.

(i'm so, so glad i was wrong on the best actress one though.)

the end.

"what's the most you've ever lost on a coin toss?"

2008-02-23T15:37:00.007-05:00

dear old Oscar is wiping his feet on the welcome mat as we speak, and my hair's still in curlers! is he early, or am i late?

of course, i blame the writers strike for stealing the Academy's thunder, and i couldn't be more grateful that it's finally over. now, we'll hopefully be treated to a production of mammoth proportions, one with all the glitz, excess, and frivolity that God intended. i'm ready for the 3+ hour broadcast tomorrow night, and i hope they don't skimp this time around.
bring on the overlong speeches, padded out with the hems and haws of false humility, interrupted by cutaways of the losers. welcome trusty ol' jon stewart, who will remain just this side of subversive while still managing to please college fanboys everywhere. and please don't forget the über-awkward red carpet interviews before the main event, which will be painful to watch but also oddly reassuring (however crappy your life may seem at times, be glad that you are not a professional celeb-fawner. lookin' at you, mr. oceanpeak*). point is, Academy, my already-uncomfortable couch will be pins and needles tomorrow night if you'll just bring the show that this girl looks forward to all year.

what follows is my personal list of predictions for tomorrow night's winners... erm, award recipients. i should mention that this is my very first time making such a list, and the simple reason is that i hate when i'm not right. but i am psychologically prepared for every one of these predictions to be proven wrong, and, as you'll see, i hope some of them are.

here are the categories that i feel comfortable guessing on. my predicted winners are in boldface, while my preferred winners are in italics.

PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTOR IN A LEADING ROLE
George Clooney in "Michael Clayton"
Daniel Day-Lewis in "There Will Be Blood"
Johnny Depp in "Sweeney Todd The Demon Barber of Fleet Street"
Tommy Lee Jones in "In the Valley of Elah"
Viggo Mortensen in "Eastern Promises"

(can we all agree that the inclusion of any nominees other than mr. day-lewis is a mere formality, here? thanks. by the way, let's all create a mental picture of any one of these other men taking a second to jot down a few names on a piece of paper in the limo on the way to the kodak theatre, just in case. awww, how precious.)

PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTOR IN A SUPPORTING ROLE
Casey Affleck in "The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford"
Javier Bardem in "No Country for Old Men"
Philip Seymour Hoffman in "Charlie Wilson's War"
Hal Holbrook in "Into the Wild"
Tom Wilkinson in "Michael Clayton"

(okay, i loved javier, so i have to explain. in a movie that wasn't worthy of the accolades it got, holbrook broke my heart and made me cry.)

PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTRESS IN A LEADING ROLE
Cate Blanchett in "Elizabeth: The Golden Age"
Julie Christie in "Away from Her"
Marion Cotillard in "La Vie en Rose"
Laura Linney in "The Savages"
Ellen Page in "Juno"

(this one is really tough. christie was amazing and gut-wrenching. she will take it, as she's american and getting on in years. cotillard was simply incredible, though- fearless and a marvel to watch. please, God, i hope i'm wrong on this one and dear marion steals the statue.)

PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTRESS IN A SUPPORTING ROLE
Cate Blanchett in "I'm Not There"
Ruby Dee in "American Gangster"
Saoirse Ronan in "Atonement"
Amy Ryan in "Gone Baby Gone"
Tilda Swinton in "Michael Clayton"

(guess what? didn't even get to see GONE BABY GONE yet, but i'm sold on ryan, just based on the clips i've seen! whoa! we all know cate will take this one home, though, right?)

BEST ANIMATED FEATURE FILM OF THE YEAR
"Persepolis": Marjane Satrapi and Vincent Paronnaud
"Ratatouille": Brad Bird
"Surf's Up": Ash Brannon and Chris Buck

(ummm, how the heck did SURF'S UP get in here? is this a mistake?)

ACHIEVEMENT IN ART DIRECTION
"American Gangster" : Art Direction: Arthur Max; Set Decoration: Beth A. Rubino
"Atonement": Art Direction: Sarah Greenwood; Set Decoration: Katie Spencer
"The Golden Compass": Art Direction: Dennis Gassner; Set Decoration: Anna Pinnock
"Sweeney Todd The Demon Barber of Fleet Street": Art Direction: Dante Ferretti; Set Decoration: Francesca Lo Schiavo
"There Will Be Blood": Art Direction: Jack Fisk; Set Decoration: Jim Erickson

(hmm, i have a weird feeling on this one and hope i'm wrong about the winner.)

ACHIEVEMENT IN CINEMATOGRAPHY
"The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford": Roger Deakins
"Atonement": Seamus McGarvey
"The Diving Bell and the Butterfly": Janusz Kaminski
"No Country for Old Men": Roger Deakins
"There Will Be Blood": Robert Elswit

( i swear, i don't know what's going on here with the inklings. please, no ATONEMENT, people.)

ACHIEVEMENT IN COSTUME DESIGN
"Across the Universe" Albert Wolsky
"Atonement" Jacqueline Durran
"Elizabeth: The Golden Age" Alexandra Byrne
"La Vie en Rose" Marit Allen
"Sweeney Todd The Demon Barber of Fleet Street" Colleen Atwood

ACHIEVEMENT IN DIRECTING
"The Diving Bell and the Butterfly", Julian Schnabel
"Juno", Jason Reitman
"Michael Clayton", Tony Gilroy
"No Country for Old Men", Joel Coen and Ethan Coen
"There Will Be Blood", Paul Thomas Anderson

(please, please give it to p.t.a.)

BEST DOCUMENTARY FEATURE
"No End in Sight" : Charles Ferguson and Audrey Marrs
"Operation Homecoming: Writing the Wartime Experience" : Richard E. Robbins
"Sicko": Michael Moore and Meghan O'Hara
"Taxi to the Dark Side": Alex Gibney and Eva Orner
"War/Dance": Andrea Nix Fine and Sean Fine

(don't be fooled, Academy. SICKO wasn't nearly as good as it could have been. moore is getting even lazier, which i didn't think was possible.)

ACHIEVEMENT IN FILM EDITING
"The Bourne Ultimatum": Christopher Rouse
"The Diving Bell and the Butterfly": Juliette Welfling
"Into the Wild": Jay Cassidy
"No Country for Old Men": Roderick Jaynes
"There Will Be Blood": Dylan Tichenor

(since roderick jaynes= the bros themselves, let's give them even more props for a job well done. pieced together splendidly, indeed.)

ACHIEVEMENT IN MAKEUP
"La Vie en Rose" (Picturehouse) Didier Lavergne and Jan Archibald
"Norbit" (DreamWorks, Distributed by Paramount): Rick Baker and Kazuhiro Tsuji
"Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End" (Walt Disney): Ve Neill and Martin Samuel

(ummm, yeah...)

ACHIEVEMENT IN MUSIC WRITTEN FOR MOTION PICTURES (ORIGINAL SCORE)
"Atonement" (Focus Features) Dario Marianelli
"The Kite Runner" (DreamWorks, Sidney Kimmel Entertainment and Participant Productions, Distributed by Paramount Classics): Alberto Iglesias
"Michael Clayton" (Warner Bros.) James Newton Howard
"Ratatouille" (Walt Disney) Michael Giacchino
"3:10 to Yuma" (Lionsgate) Marco Beltrami

(refuse to predict since jonny greenwood is not nominated. do. not. care. who. wins.)

ACHIEVEMENT IN MUSIC WRITTEN FOR MOTION PICTURES (ORIGINAL SONG)
"Falling Slowly" from "Once" Music and Lyric by Glen Hansard and Marketa Irglova
"Happy Working Song" from "Enchanted" Music by Alan Menken; Lyric by Stephen Schwartz
"Raise It Up" from "August Rush" Music and Lyric by Jamal Joseph, Charles Mack and Tevin Thomas
"So Close" from "Enchanted" Music by Alan Menken; Lyric by Stephen Schwartz
"That's How You Know" from "Enchanted" Music by Alan Menken; Lyric by Stephen Schwartz

(hopefully, all the ENCHANTED songs will cancel each other out, and falling slowly, which is beautiful, will win.)

BEST MOTION PICTURE OF THE YEAR
"Atonement": Tim Bevan, Eric Fellner and Paul Webster, Producers
"Juno": Lianne Halfon, Mason Novick and Russell Smith, Producers
"Michael Clayton": Sydney Pollack, Jennifer Fox and Kerry Orent, Producers
"No Country for Old Men": Scott Rudin, Ethan Coen and Joel Coen, Producers
"There Will Be Blood": JoAnne Sellar, Paul Thomas Anderson and Daniel Lupi, Producers

(close call. i want TWBB to triumph, but we all know who'll win.)

ADAPTED SCREENPLAY
"Atonement", Screenplay by Christopher Hampton
"Away from Her", Written by Sarah Polley
"The Diving Bell and the Butterfly", Screenplay by Ronald Harwood
"No Country for Old Men", Written for the screen by Joel Coen & Ethan Coen
"There Will Be Blood", Written for the screen by Paul Thomas Anderson

(haha, can't pick, of course. and i haven't even seen THE DIVING BELL yet!)

ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY
"Juno", Written by Diablo Cody
"Lars and the Real Girl", Written by Nancy Oliver
"Michael Clayton", Written by Tony Gilroy
"Ratatouille", Screenplay by Brad Bird; Story by Jan Pinkava, Jim Capobianco, Brad Bird
"The Savages", Written by Tamara Jenkins

(you know what? i think LARS AND THE REAL GIRL's script was totally more boss.)

the end.
so what if i'm wrong?
we shall see tomorrow!
tune in, folks!

*not his real name.

"when it comes to the showdown, they won't be there."

2008-01-23T12:52:00.000-05:00

a few randomosities before heading to class:

finally saw THERE WILL BE BLOOD, and it was better than i expected by jillions of miles. if there's somebody out there who doesn't think that daniel day-lewis will take the oscar this year, i'd love to shake your hand.
CLOVERFIELD is also amazing. if you're one of the few who hasn't seen it yet, what are you waiting for? i'm anticipating a third viewing soon, because i am a sucker, and j.j. abrams' trickery is more clever than i.

more importantly,

i won't try to express the shock and confusion i felt last night upon hearing of the demise of a man whose name i can't bring myself to type, for some reason. i don't want to be trite, but my thoughts and prayers, for real. i hate the hollywood machine a lot sometimes.

"and i'm tellin' you, them pussycats is quick!"

2008-01-07T23:45:00.000-05:00

2007 is finally over (for good, i think!), and i have to concede that it was a great year for movies.

just when i start to feel almost inconsolably disillusioned with the content of american multiplexes, a huge raincloud of cinematic genius bursts over my head. and now, here i stand, looking at the glistening treasures scattered around me, just trying to make sense of it all.

these are just 5 reasons why 2007 will go down in history as the year that restored my faith in the movies forever (yes, my tongue is resting squarely in my cheek- you should know that i deal only in hyperbole, if we've not yet met in person. though, if we haven't met, i doubt you'd be reading this at all. heck, i doubt if anyone is reading this, close friend or not. out of curiosity...mom, are you out there? hi! yay, i knew you'd support my lifelong dream of blogging! what's that? yesss, i've got a warm jacket, but i promise it's not cold down here! it was like summer today, for reals. what? i don't know how many degrees, what am i- benjamin franklin? sheesh.).
in no particular order (i can't commit- what else is new?):

1. SWEENEY TODD- just the first thing that comes to mind, since i saw it most recently for the second time. fun, fun, fun, and fun. it even comes with a commendable (and quite biblical) lesson to be learned in the end, for those who care about that sort of thing. honestly, stephen sondheim's score is gorgeous, and his lyrics are catchy but oh-so-clever at the same time. if you're not familiar with this musical, the film is a more-than-satisfactory introduction. helena bonham carter's mrs. lovett is nearly as good an interpretation as angela lansbury's- a bit dryer with the humor but great in its own right. and johnny depp seethes on-screen like no other. tim burton proved the perfect man for this job- not surprisingly, considering the content. bottom line? i couldn't have possibly had more fun watching this movie.

2. NO COUNTRY FOR OLD MEN-

my dear coen bros,
thank you, thank you, thank you for returning with something worth waiting for. fortunately for you two, O BROTHER... managed to stick to my ribs in the interim between FARGO and this incredible surprise. if it hadn't, there would have been some sort of heck to pay in the form of a mild and possibly unvoiced dissatisfaction on my part. be glad that you dodged that bullet, guys. (and how!)
alright, truth is... well, shucks- i ain't never been so terrified in a movie theater before! seriously, i literally thought that i might possibly lose my life in that darkened room. i will not surrender on this night, i told myself, frozen in fear. tense is not the word. ok, for real, though: who are these strangers sitting around me? and why aren't there any metal detectors in this place? you mean to tell me that anyone can just stroll in here and watch a movie, no pre-show frisking required? who is that strange bald man just now coming in, halfway into the movie? nope, i did not see him leave for the bathroom earlier. why is he so stiff, looking straight ahead and sitting still so suspiciously? mister, can i just get a nod and a smile, please? dear Lord, this is not how i want to leave this earth. not by the hand of some cattle-gun-wielding copycat psychopath during a screening of the best film of the year.

sincerely,
tylergirly

3. THERE WILL BE BLOOD- okay, yes. i am basing this on the flippin' theatrical trailer! ...and the fact that daniel day-lewis is the best actor in the world. plus, if you know just one thing about me, it's that paul thomas anderson could set up a tripod outside his house and film a single leaf falling to the ground for three-plus hours (tall tree, y'all) and i would watch intently (thrice) before following him all the way to the razzies. after only four feature films, this dude had already more than earned the right to release a huge stink bomb on the viewing public, and i am still waiting for that day to come. and though i have not yet seen it (oh, the itch! it's getting worse! wide release, where are you?), i have a gut feeling that this one ain't the stinker. just a sneaking suspicion.

4. JUNO- it's now time to address the elephant in the room, so i'll humbly admit that so far, this list has been pretty predictable and clichéd. NO COUNTRY FOR OLD MEN was the best movie of the year? no...duh! and SWEENEY TODD was fun and wicked and clever? you don't say! and THERE WILL BE BLOOD was probably amazing, too? scandalous!
so, to spice up this boring list, to remedy this sad situation we've now got on our hands, it is with great originality and creativity of imagination that i bring you JUNO.
what? never heard of it? that's what i thought. you would not believe the cranial acrobatics that i had to perform in order to dig up this little gem for you, my precious reader(s). i had to sift through a lot of gravel and grit, but i am sure that your groveling gratitude will be the aloe to my calloused hands. go and see this brilliant unsung little movie, i beg of you. though some of the dialog is pretty silly and michael cera is painfully underused, you will laugh a lot and cry a bit at the end (unless you are made of stone- in which case, why did you leave me with all of that digging?).
anyway, my hope is that someone out there will read this blog entry and campaign for their neighborhood theater to start screening JUNO immediately, along with every other theater in the nation. oooh, and then...maybe that same person will write to the movie studio and prompt it to deliver a billion different tv spots based on the trailer, each one containing some of the "best" (will no doubt be debatable) lines in the film...and then the networks could maybe air these little previews between each commercial, every night of the week...oh, and maybe place some ads on mtv.com, just a few, and every other site on the internet, causing audience numbers to skyrocket and ensuring numerous award nominations and wins. i know these are lofty goals, but can't a girl dream big?*

*i actually did like this movie, despite all of my bitterness regarding the marketing. oh, did you not pick up on that? the bitterness? i'll make sure to cut back on the subtlety next time.

5. all of the potentially great movies that i haven't seen yet- i have never, as far as i can remember, entered a new calendar year with so many terrible regrets, so many movies left unwatched. largely because of forces beyond my control, i have yet to see PERSEPOLIS (which i will love), I'M NOT THERE (lots of possibility there, for sure), GONE BABY GONE (can't wait), and a whole slew of others, which i will mercifully not attempt to list here.

note: i realize that i included an un-viewed movie among my fave four and not as a part of number 5, but you've got to understand my conviction. allow me to be frank, here. and i will not waver from my stance... THERE WILL BE BLOOD is going to be a good movie! there, i said it!

note 2: i also realize that soon after claiming to not have any hierarchical order in mind for this little list, i refer to NO COUNTRY FOR OLD MEN as the best of the year. come on, really? you're going to hold me to some casual claim even in the face of this towering, indisputable fact? no, it's totally indisputable, i promise you. c'mon, now you're just disagreeing for the sake of it. have you even seen the movie? wait, what? no, SPIDERMAN 3 was not better. no, it wasn't! ok, let's rock-paper-scissors.

no, wait! i've got a coin.

call it.

"the brain is the most overrated organ, i think."

2007-12-26T01:38:00.000-05:00

it's over already?!

ok, so Christmas is imbued with all of this culturally-derived significance, filled to the brim with expectation and hope for whatever the imagination can conjure up. we're supposed to wait for it all year long, start planning (and shopping) early, and feverishly decorate our homes and trees for that one actual day, which is always over quite quickly. i try not to get too excited, since it's usually somewhat anticlimactic. plus, i have to continually remind myself to mentally strip away the layers of constructed meaning that the holiday has acquired. i must simply think of it as the day that we choose to celebrate Christ's birth- an intuitive yet fearsome notion that i can certainly get behind. i can't bear the pressure of treating the day very much differently than any other, except for some extra prayers of thanks and a bit more compassion toward my family, both immediate and extended. this year, it was a low-key but enjoyable time, which started with an out-of-town visit with relatives and ended with the perfect activity upon arriving home.

so exactly how did i spend the evening of Christmas day 2007? (glad you ask.)

i forced my mother to watch MANHATTAN (1979) with me (which she had somehow managed to avoid seeing until this night). for some reason, i can never get enough of this film. i can hardly explain why, as i notoriously have a problem voicing what, to me, is fundamentally just not articulable.

i lovelovelove this movie. it has to be my favorite of woody allen's, though there are a few close seconds.
perhaps firstly, it's beautiful (thanks again, gordon willis!),
it's perfectly complemented by gershwin's score,
its pace is comfortable and natural,
and
allen & brickman's script is electric, as usual.

so, part of it is certainly technical. allen has a way with the camera that just heightens the level of spectator-ship to a thrilling degree. in this film, he shoots through a curtained window when others would have used a less interesting close shot. he places the camera several yards away from an important isaac/tracy conversation. (and i won't even mention that awesome silhouetted lighting in the planetarium...oops.) one after the other, he employs each frame in the most provocative way. we are voyeurs, and we keep our distance (which makes it all the more exciting when woody throws a wink and a nudge our way).

i have to mention that for me, watching any woody allen comedy is like taking a leisurely walk through central (or prospect) park on a spring day, with a few detours into bagel shops and some exciting distractions along the way. it couldn't be more pleasurable. i feel coddled by the inviting style and tone of his films (even in the more farcical ones) but provoked by the playful dialog. it's silly for a gal like me, but i feel totally welcome and at home in his movies. MANHATTAN is just the perfect example.

"how is it in hillsborough? well, it's warm here, too."

2007-11-18T22:43:00.001-05:00

let's kick off this all-too-relevant blog with a discussion of my experience with the best movie ever.

of course, savvy readers already know that we're talking about BUTTERFLIES ARE FREE (1972).
this gem was introduced into my life at such a young age that i could only remember hazy details until a couple of years ago when i rediscovered it. for about a decade, i would get mental flashes, lone images from a film that my subconscious was trying desperately to recall. now i know why the film stuck with me, even if only in fragments.
i finally pieced together the clues to find the title and, subsequently, a copy of the DVD during my sophomore year in college. it was like digging up a treasure that was lovingly and carefully buried in the backyard during the second grade. such a precious find; i couldn't believe we'd been separated for so long.

as i see it, it's more important for me to describe my affinity for this movie than it is to review its content and structure. this is because i recognize that the nature of my love for BUTTERFLIES ARE FREE is somewhat unreasonable and maybe even irrational. films in general are very important to me, and the experience of identifying strongly with a character or theme is a precious one. but this one in particular hit me on a whole new level.

if you must know about the film itself (as i have omitted even the names of the actors and an outline of the plot), please head over to IMDb. it's difficult for me to explain it here, as basic and simple as the plot may be. the whole of the film is so much greater than the sum of its parts, and it transcends the material so successfully that a discussion thereof seems almost moot. anyone who sees the film because of my recommendation may be left wondering why i would feel such an allegiance to it. but i suppose asking you to love this movie like i do would be like handing my old and tattered teddy bear to a stranger and expecting them to bond.

on the bandwagon

2007-11-18T22:13:00.001-05:00

just a briefing,
what to expect from my blog:

1. oodles of random ruminations and essays, movie reviews and the like.

2. very rare occurrences of capitalization but an otherwise strict adherence to the guidelines that govern spelling, grammar, and syntax.

ok, now that you've been sufficiently prepared, strap on your seat belts!